Let’s start with a few definitions:
– “Mindfulness is the awareness that emerges through paying attention in a particular way: on purpose, in the present moment, and nonjudgmentally to things as they are.”
Williams, Segal, Zindel, 2013
– “Mindfulness means paying attention to what’s happening in the present moment in the mind, body and external environment, with an attitude of curiosity and kindness.”
Mindful Nation UK – Report by the Mindfulness All-Party Parliamentary Group, 2015
Let’s have a go at unpacking those definitions!
Mindfulness (or “awareness”): One simple way to summarise mindfulness is with two words, ‘awareness’ and ‘acceptance’. By bringing an accepting awareness to our experience in the present moment, the idea is that we can ‘see clearly’ what is here, and start to ‘come into relationship’ with ourselves, just as we are.
Acceptance (or “non-judgement”): The word acceptance is another, sometimes more helpful way of describing the idea of ‘non-judgement’, however ‘acceptance’ may need some clarifying here. We’re not talking about just ‘resigning ourselves to our fate’, not taking action when it’s required or being a doormat for the world. It simply means to have a clear, unfiltered awareness of our own, present moment experience, particularly our inner experience, without the normal filter of judgement (or what we sometimes call ‘doing mode’. Instead, the idea is that a non-judgemental ‘being mode’ type of awareness can allow us to still respond to our situation, but possibly more appropriately. We can ‘respond’, instead of ‘react’.
Kindness: Then we have the second definition, talking about “kindness”. So where does that come in? Well, it turns out that qualities such as kindness (primarily towards ourselves) are integral to the effectiveness of mindfulness. In a way, it makes the practice of awareness and acceptance possible. It turns out that an atmosphere of warmth and kindness when training ourselves to ‘be mindful’ is what works best. It can take a leap of faith, to let go of our inner critic and trust that we’ll still learn and change for the better without it, but it turns out that it’s an integral part of the mindfulness journey.
One final note…
If this leaves you with more questions, that’s very normal. Mindfulness practice only starts to make sense when we practice and try it out for ourselves.